I remember those days when I was a little girl and would think to myself, looking for example at my aunt or other older people, “Wow, they are older than 20, they must be having their lives together, knowing what they really want, knowing where they wanna go with their lives.”
Now, that I am 26, I see that, me included, noone really knows what they intend to do with their lives.
Everyone has some sort of idea. But everyone has learned that making detailed plans of one’s life is useless because it rarely goes how you planned out.
So, instead of having a perfect idea, everybody feels like they have been thrown into cold water, and swimming about, hoping to find that shore called “the future” one day.
Now, I’m not going to lead this to the cliche of “Seize the day, carpe diem” and so on. Because I also do not believe that wandering around without any idea can be of benefit for you. You should at least have a direction, so as to know where you would want to be standing at the end and say: “Yes, I like this place, I do not regret anything”.
It is just that, contrary to what I thought in my younger years, I do not have everything planned out.
I know my shore. I know where I would want to end up after the long swim in life’s sea.
But I do not know if I am going to land there doing what I do now.
I do not know if the same people will be swimming next to me.
Or if I will meet someone who would even make me want to change my direction slightly so that I get to see many other things, make a detour so to say, but then still end up where I’ll find happiness one day.
And slowly but steadily I started to realize that that is life. That you cannot plan. Cannot know. Cannot keep all the promises you made. Cannot expect that from others.
You can just keep on swimming, enjoying the swim as good as you can and know that you’ll reach a shore one day.
And this twisted not-really-knowing is terrifyingly beautiful.
Life is terrifyingly beautiful.
And I am happy.
The picture was taken by me somewhere in the streets of Famagusta, North Cyprus.